I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
