what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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