You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
