went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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