i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
