Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
