So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just pynch a tree in the face
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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