my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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