I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
