THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
