I want you more than these girls want KFC
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
