You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I could make wine with my vomit
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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