shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
