we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize