I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
