I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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