She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
