Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
