He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
