Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
