He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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