Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
