I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
