i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
