im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
