Got a toothbrush?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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