found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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