I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They took my balls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
