I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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