Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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