just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
