We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
