He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
