He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
