She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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