I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
