i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
