So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
