1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
