Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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