Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
