you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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