jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sext me about skeletons
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
