you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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