I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
