Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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