I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize