me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
