i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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