She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
