She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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