i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Semen is not good for contacts.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
