Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
