I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize