You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
