I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
