How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize