So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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