He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
