when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
