Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
