You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
