I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
bring money and cleavage
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
